optimistic thinking

That's what I'm counting on right now. Optimism. What's the point in focusing on all the negativity?

I've been going about this all wrong. I kept asking myself "what did i do to deserve all this shit?" and everyone told me I didn't do anything. Well, now I'm going to listen to them. I've decided that maybe this is fate's way of telling me that I'm just not supposed to be with him (at least for now) and that something better will come along eventually. Maybe I'm just supposed to live my life to the fullest right now, and be selfish like he is.

I mean, yeah even with all this optimism it still hurts. A lot. But right now, I need to focus.

I have an appointment with Judy tomorrow. I haven't decided yet if I'll fill her in on him. I probably should. It was a big event that changed me.
Oh, and I actually had a meal today. So already, improvement.