Saturday, May 23, 2009

I love him so but I let him go, because I knew he'd never love me back.

I'm battle scarred, I am workin' oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

Despite the fact that I didn't have a party tonight because my mother didn't go out of town, I still had a fairly successful day. I got some new clothes, and I saw two movies. It was still a kind of boring day, and I have a killer headache from allergies.

hm. Paul just im-ed me. I guess I will talk with an old friend tonight.

I have been the other woman twice in my life. That's bad karma. haha.

I don't understand myself sometimes. I don't understand my ideas....my actions. I don't understand why I care so much. Or why I want things to happen.


interesting:
looking back i think it was probably a mistake for us to have sex
. really? why? and how we did it was really irresponsible - it was really immature on my part. and on mine too. both because you were so young and because i didn't use protection. yeah, but you have at least a little excuse.you had never done it before. this is true. idk I gues i kind of agree....but then again i dont. with what do you agree and with what do you disagree? I agree because yes, we were both immature about it. I was ignorant, naive and you were ruled by your hormones. also, because I thought I loved you.I disagree because I thought I loved you. and my philosophy is to not have sex unless you love that person....which will probably change as i grow. but at the time i thought it was right. that makes sense. mhm. i like to think so. I just used to think it was ok to take advantage of people like that, and now I don't think it is - so i'm sorry for that. for taking advantage of your feelings for me. oh wow. .... thank you.

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