I won't be fooled again

I find origami highly therapeutic. "Why?" you may ask. My response would be "because it's Asian. That's why".
I am feeling very at ease, yet at the same time very stressed. I am at ease with my life, and my internal feelings towards it. My "D" is actually a "C" for the time being, so that makes my frustration level go down a significant amount.
My stress is caused by (you named it), school. With finals coming up, and an IB test next week, I need to buckle down. And how many times have I said that? I'm not even going to count.

Back to last night's post that was rudely interrupted by the broadcast of Gossip Girl:
I can't describe my happiness. I didnt' feel any worry, or any confusion yesterday after he left. I felt like I just had fun with a best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. There might be a possibility in the future....but I wouldn't count on it, and don't expect it. Expecting things to happen just wastes time. Letting things happen is living life. (new philosophy on life)
I still feel a little bad. After he left I got online and she fb chatted me and I was like "oh heyyy". It was just weird. But fun to have that secret, you know? (is that absolutely horrible of me?)
It was very nice to feel close again. And connected.

Like I said before, I'm pretty excited for the weekend. These weeks seem to drag on too slowly.
Sunday I get to see Kyle again. I am very excited.

The sun is shining for me again

wow

what just happened?

That was absolutely amazing. I feel bad, but then again...I feel absolutely great. I'm proud of myself actually. I don't feel like I'm in agony because I've "fallen in love" with him again, and I only feel slightly bad.

I feel wonderful.

It was a one time thing. It was on a wim. And it was nice to feel connected again.


I will expand on this later. it's Gossip Girl time.

It's about time.

I found myself lacking in energy this weekend, thus no blogging.

I guess I will commence with a weekend update.
This weekend nothing eventful happened. I stayed home both Friday and Saturday nights. Though, I did feel like a drug dealer Friday night, which was quite amusing. Saturday during the day I had a state board meeting in which we decided on t-shirt colors, design, Leadership opening and closing and a lot of other random things.
Having random conversations with some people. It's a little weird, but yet at the same time hilarious. I don't know what to think about it really, so I'm just kind of going with the flow. We'll see what happens.

This coming weekend, though will be fabulous. Or is predicted to be. Three day weekend. Hopefully I will be able to smoke on one of these days. Saturday will be filled of work and spirit festival. I always like working for percussion. And Sunday I have KBC, work, then the Cappies Gala for which I am nominated for light design. Shall be extravagant. Maybe.

I am definitely stressed. I cannot have a D on my transcript.
AP test seemed to go decently well. I think I got a 3 or a 4. Hopefully the latter.

On another subject, my lack of sexual contact is driving me absolutely insane.
Really. It's been way too long.

I sit in front of a luminescent white screen. The ominous tiny black cursor mocks me while repeatedly flashing. I ponder my thesis:
Societal conformity is exposed as ironic by the authors Albert Camus and Gabriel Garcia Marquez through their use of imagery describing the beliefs and actions of their characters in The Stranger and Chronicle of a Death Foretold.
"shit"
I have been at this for about an hour and a half now, my Nerds candy box already empty. The low hum of a indie band is ringing in my ears from the speakers. Anything would be better than this.
Procrastination is a thing of beauty; or for some, a characteristic far worse than annoying. I cannot help but to procrastinate when it comes to essays: who wants to write them? The structure in which we are demanded to write it in none the least is horrific enough, but taking time out of our lives to write a 1,000-1,500 word essay about a topic that we will most likely never think about again after this year is torture.
I keep finding excuses to not do this essay; surfing random websites, Facebook stalking, and texting are some of the few ways to completely bypass this ill-fated task.
It's obvious what I need to do, I just refuse to.
My sanity has reached its limit; my motivation lacks a great deal.
But alas, I must complete this burden.
Goodbye, Sanity. You will be sorely missed.

I Hate Mondays

I know this statement is highly cliche, but it must be stated here. I hate Mondays with a fierceness of one thousand tigers competing for a single piece of meat. It's one of those days when you wake up, and you know it won't be a good day....just because it's a Monday.
This Monday, though, was relatively decent. I am already stressed with a rough draft due on Wednesday, AP test on Friday, and just the fact that I'm at school doesn't help either. It did help that I saw a usually disturbing image, but hilarious to me.
What I need is summer. I feel like this summer should actually be good....I have a decent amount of friends, I am going to Internationals and audition for colleges, I can tan, I have a car, it should be good. I'm excited. But I can't be too excited just yet.

My sanity is relatively good. Four day weekend coming up next week, which is something to look forward to. I will hopefully be hanging out a lot with Claire ;)
I think everything has been a lot better lately, and after everything that happened, I should've listened to my friends sooner. Because they were right. I think I take my friendships for granted, and that's why I have off and on friendships a lot.

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all the time

The Saltwater Room-Owl City

People who are hot and cold annoy me.
Just stay one temperature please and don't confuse me.

oh brudder.

Not to jinx it, but I have probably had the best weekend ever. Well, of this quarter at least. Let me give you a play-by-play. Not that you care or anything, but you will live:

Friday: Play that night. It went really well. There were a lot of laughs. Skipped out on the cast party and went to Ian's instead. Probably the most fun I've had in a while (which isn't much, by the way). Driving home was ridiculously awesome and a little scary because I kept thinking I was lost because the roads seemed much longer than normal......
Saturday: Relaxed during the day, then went to the water polo game, which is always enjoyable. I then moved to the play, which went decently. After that I continued to the BB 17 debut concert. Already missing Archetypes, I was slightly disappointed. But it still turned out awesome-ly. And I'm really glad I showed up.
After THAT I was going to go to the cast party, but then my friend told me that T (guy I made out with from Vianney) was having people over. And knowing that he would flip shit when I showed up (because he's scared of me now...), I went for literally 5 minutes. I walked in, hugged him. Went to his basement said hi to the other guys and the Notre Dame girls, and then left to the cast party. Which I stayed at for about 5 minutes and then continued on home.
Today: I went to youth group, which wasn't too much of a bore. And continued to go to lunch with Kyle! I have missed him so much and it was so good to see him and walk around Kirkwood with him :)

It was a weekend filled with a lot of milage and half a tank of gas, but ultimately, I would say that it was definitely worth it.