oh brudder.

Not to jinx it, but I have probably had the best weekend ever. Well, of this quarter at least. Let me give you a play-by-play. Not that you care or anything, but you will live:

Friday: Play that night. It went really well. There were a lot of laughs. Skipped out on the cast party and went to Ian's instead. Probably the most fun I've had in a while (which isn't much, by the way). Driving home was ridiculously awesome and a little scary because I kept thinking I was lost because the roads seemed much longer than normal......
Saturday: Relaxed during the day, then went to the water polo game, which is always enjoyable. I then moved to the play, which went decently. After that I continued to the BB 17 debut concert. Already missing Archetypes, I was slightly disappointed. But it still turned out awesome-ly. And I'm really glad I showed up.
After THAT I was going to go to the cast party, but then my friend told me that T (guy I made out with from Vianney) was having people over. And knowing that he would flip shit when I showed up (because he's scared of me now...), I went for literally 5 minutes. I walked in, hugged him. Went to his basement said hi to the other guys and the Notre Dame girls, and then left to the cast party. Which I stayed at for about 5 minutes and then continued on home.
Today: I went to youth group, which wasn't too much of a bore. And continued to go to lunch with Kyle! I have missed him so much and it was so good to see him and walk around Kirkwood with him :)

It was a weekend filled with a lot of milage and half a tank of gas, but ultimately, I would say that it was definitely worth it.

time takes time, you know

This week has worn me out completely.
But I am feeling better than yesterday. Yesterday was just one of those days, you know?
But it's crunch time. AP test coming up, IB test in a couple of weeks, World Lit paper due in a couple of weeks.......
I'll get on that after this weekend.
I have to admit, I'm pretty excited for this weekend.

In time I will fade away,
In time I won't hear what you say,
In time...but time takes time you know.

I haven't felt like this in a long time

Hating my mother, highly annoyed by my best friends, constantly tired, always alone, missing him.

I think it's a mix of pms, stress, and just the season. It's near the end of the school year...I always get like this around this time. I always mess up. Everything is worse in Spring for me, usually. Freshman year, it was trouble about my C in English. Last year, grades...again, and boy problems. This year, grades. Again. I spy a pattern.
I just get so worn out. And it's so extremely frustrating. The more days go on, the more alone I feel, and the more effort I put into not feeling alone; this gets me no where, obviously.
I keep procrastinating on everything. I have to focus.

Right now, I don't have the time or inspiration to write anything close to intellectual. Just expression.

Show Me What I'm Looking For-Carolina Liar
Look it up.

Open me up and you will see
I’m a gallery of broken hearts
I’m beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

indie

Music is the best form of expression. I can find any song that fits my exact mood, tone, and connotation. Lately, I have been striving to expand my music knowledge. I have been doing so with this amazing website: thesixtyone.com
My attraction to soft, pulsating beats has become stronger. I have never loved indie music more. The calm flows through my ear canal, into my brain where I am instantly breathing deeply and focusing on happy thoughts. It is a bass I could meditate to, if any bass at all. It usually stays in the treble.

I would write more, but I have lost my muse.
Until another day.

the best paragraph on teen violence ever

These days, youth have the most permeable minds in the entirety of society. They can believe anything if they put their minds to it, or mimic actions if they see it fit. This youthful age group is where the media moguls make their strike: by showing footage of a “real world” fight, wrestling matches, or even crude practical jokes, the youth of today sits in awe of the intense action shots. Television shows and movies aired that portray tactless and brutal scenes obviously introduce students to a different world; a world where they can hit, punch or shoot whoever they can and whoever gets in their way, and it be accepted by everyone else. Images like these can and do influence a lot of youth to use the violence themselves; proving to be a source of the surge of fighting.

I wrote this shit in five minutes.

the old me is dead and gone

Despite my lack of car, my non superior grades, and my acute awareness of my loneliness, I can say that I have had a successful weekend.

Friday night I made an impromptu judgment to go see my favorite musical of all time with a good friend. Ended up bending my tire (karma can suck it). Tried to smoke a joint, but alas, failed at doing so and must take another joint rolling class 101 with a fellow student.
Saturday was more of a bonding day with my mother, to say the least. I slept in till 12 and stayed up well past my bed time :) Did a little shopping at good ole Wal-Mart and finished the day watching late night television programs drifting asleep in my seemingly cold room.
Sunday was filled of heat, and freedom. After attending Sunday school I made an appearance at a wedding shower for my cousin, which was then followed by making up to a friend. Seeing Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, of course.

This weekend can seem obtuse to you, but to me it was quite decent. Sure, there could have been some partying thrown in here and there. But overall, I am feeling quite content and ready to face a brick being hit at me over and over again this week. This is also known as school.
Which, will be a bitch because the scheduling is absolutely horrid. End of Course Exams can suck it along side Karma.